Show me the Funny

Let me start out by saying that I have a great sense of humor. It's true, just ask anyone. Which leads to my subject: how do so many unfunny people keep appearing in the movies, or on TV? I have a short list here of unfunny players. If you disagree, tell me something, in particular, they did (this century) that was funny.

Dane Cook.... I suppose his fifteen minutes are finally up, and he is actually a cook somewhere. How did this talentless, moronic, hack ever become semi-famous. Was that the joke? The entertainment industry decided to just make some chump a star? I dare anyone to name one funny punchline of his. Funny being the keyword.

Robin Williams... Sure when you were seven, Mork was hilarious, but what has he done in the last thirty some years? Patch Adams alone should have been enough to get him blackballed. Watch (if you can) Williams on a talk show; no matter the subject, first he does the black voice, then John Wayne, finishing with the gay voice. Ta da! Every. Single. Time.

Eddie Murphy.... Quick, other than speaking as a pixeled jackass, name the last movie he was funny in. Going all the way back to the 1980s, aren't you? How do these guys keep getting parts?

Adam Sandler..... How long has it been since he was on Saturday Night Live? Twenty years? Because that's the last time Crazy Pickle Mustache man was funny. Happy Gilmore was his last watchable movie. Sad.

Steve Martin.... He does about one funny movie every 15-20 years. There was The Jerk. Then Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Then, ahhh, err, uhh....

Ricky Gervais..... I don't get English humor, I guess. Because if he's supposed to be funny, I'm glad I live over here. As the fat, sweaty, bumbling, everyman, Jackie Gleason nailed it. Gervais tries to pull it off, and he's uncomfortable to watch.

Steve Carell..... I watch The Office regularly, and The 40 Year Old Virgin was funny, but he's not the reason either are funny. It's the characters around him. He is very uncomfortable to watch. Which, I suppose, is great un-comedic acting. I doubt The Office could survive without him, but he's not the one I laugh at.

Howard Stern.... I know he's not on TV, or in the movies, and there's a reason for that... he's not funny! This old shyster has made a career out of saying 'dick', 'pussy', and having lesbians, on the radio. All very groundbreaking stuff, but not necessarily funny. He has funny regulars, writers, and guests, but he, himself...not funny!